10 Funny Web Jokes to start your day with
Woke up in a bad mood? Here are 10 Funny Web Jokes to start your day with. They will surely make you feel better and have a good start. Do you like any of it? Make sure you share it with your friends
What is Beethoven doing Today
Q: What is Beethoven doing today?
A: He's De-composing
Where do animals go when their tails fall off?
Q: Where do animals go when their tails fall off?
A: At the REtail store!
A drunk appears in front of a judge
A drunk appears in front of a judge. The judge says,:
- "You've been brought here for drinking."
The drunk says:
- "Okay, let's get started!"
The Blonde with the thermos
A blonde notices that her coworker has a thermos, so she asks him what it's for. He responds, "It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold."
The blonde immediately buys one for herself. The next day, she goes to work and proudly displays it.
Her coworker asks, "What do you have in it?"
- "Soup and ice cream."
The difference between a tire and 365 used condoms
Q: What’s the difference between a tire and 365 used condoms?
A: One’s a Goodyear. The other’s a great year.
Letter from a Redneck Mother to his Son
I'm writing this slow 'cause I know you can't read fast. We don't live where we did when you left. Your dad read in the paper that most accidents happen within twenty miles of home, so we moved. Won't be able to send you the address as the last Arkansas family that lived here took the numbers with them for their house, so they wouldn't have to change their address.
This place has a washing machine. The first day I put four shirts in it, pulled the chain and haven't seen 'em since.
It only rained twice this week, three days the first time and four days the second time.
The coat you wanted me to send to you, Aunt Sue said it would be a little too heavy to send in the mail with them heavy buttons, so we cut them off and put them in the pockets.
We got a bill from the funeral home, and it said if we didn't make the final payment on Grandma's funderal bill, up she comes.
About your sister, she had a baby this morning. I haven't found out whether if it is a boy or a girl so don't know if you are an Aunt or Uncle.
Your Uncle John fell in the whiskey vat. Some men tried to get him out, but he fought them off playfully, so he drowned. We cremated him and he burned for three days.
Three of your friends went off the bridge in a pickup. One was driving and the other two were in the back. The driver got out. He rolled down the window and swam to safery. The other 2 drowned. They couldn't get the tail gate down.
Not much more news this time. Nothing much happened. If you don't get this letter, please let me know and I will send another one.
What is a hooker in Alaska called?
Q: What is a hooker in Alaska called?
A: A frostitute!
The Genie and the idiot
Three guys stranded on a desert island find a magic lantern containing a genie, who grants them each one wish.
The first guy wishes he was off the island and back home.
The second guy wishes the same.
The third guy says:
-‘I’m lonely. I wish my friends were back here.’
The gay and the sex worker
A gay guy meets a sex worker in a bar.
She says, ‘This is your lucky night. I’ve got a special game for you. I’ll do absolutely anything you want for $300 as long as you can say it in three words.’
The guy replies, ‘Hey, why not?’ He pulls his wallet out of his pocket and lays $300 on the bar, and says slowly: ‘Paint…my….house.’
Goats and Human DNA
Q: What did the farmer say when he read that genetic engineers were implanting human DNA into goats?
A: "Hell, I've been doing that for years."
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